A few years ago, my old man and I used to go to the movies. A LOT. Like, at least 3 times a month (which is a lot for me). In my constant quest for spontaneity, I suggested we go to the movies. Yeah, real spontaneous, I know...but it counted as something slightly different for us on a Saturday night.
We visited our old friend - the movie theater dubbed "The Purple Monster" by our friend Courtney, and saw Your Highness. Yes, full of stoner jokes and as much Danny McBride as you can shake a stick at, Your Highness would probably have been better if we were high. Natalie Portman's lack of clothing at some parts surprised me (especially coming from her) but I'm pretty sure a majority of those shots were filled in by a body double (no surprise there). James Franco was particularly dreamy as Fabious, his long locks flowing in the wind and rippling muscles straining against his costumes...he was pretty hot. Justin Theroux was a nice surprise as well. I had no idea he was in the movie until I saw his name in the (well-executed) opening credits and let out a girlish squeal.
The movie was quite entertaining but there was one thing I didn't particularly enjoy at this theater...
The old man and I got to the theater quite early (for the 10pm show) and took our seats. We were the only ones in the entire theater for about 20 minutes, then a few couples trickled in here and there but they sat pretty far away from us - we like to sit dead center (just like most everyone does) and no one was really in our way. Until one final couple showed up and sat right behind us. No big deal, right? WRONG. Not only were these Ed Hardy wearing jerks noisy (they had really loud buckles on their clothes for some reason), but they decided it would be all right to put their feet up on the chairs next to me and my old man. Normally, I like to put my feet up on the chairs in front of me at the movies but only if there's no one in them or around them because that is just plain rude but I turned to face my old man and right next to his ear were a pair of douchey Ed Hardy slip-ons. I hesitated to turn my head to see what was awaiting me on my side but I turned anyway to see fucking BARE FEET. GROSS. WHAT THE FUCK? Have manners just completely gone out the window? What makes it okay to fucking do that? I wanted to say something but I figured my old man would do it. Avoiding confrontation the way he does, he didn't. Irritated, I took the passive aggressive approach (since the direct approach always gets us into trouble and usually embarrasses my old man) and squirmed to the point of leaning over to where her feet were and she took them down. But not for too long. The second time she put her feet up, I glared back at her and mouthed the words "What the fuck" but she didn't care. My old man and I hadn't been to the movies in forever and I didn't want to ruin it even more than it already had been by exchaning words with the inconsiderate couple. Who knows, maybe the guy in that relationship would've stepped in to squash the argument between me and his lady friend but I know my old man doesn't really have a confrontational bone in his body. It could've turned ugly quick - which is sad because we're adults and we need to respect each other - especially if we're trying to watch a movie and don't like the smell of feet next to us. Thankfully they left the movie 10 minutes early. If I had opened the box of Skittles in my purse, I would've thrown some at the inconsiderate couple. OR I would've taken a page out of Jonah's playbook. Jonah was a kid I knew for a brief period of time in high school. He was kind of a dick but I think he was trying to be like his even bigger dick of a brother. One night, Jonah was taking me and another friend home when he asked for some gum. I gave him some, watched him chew it and then throw it into a Jeep Wrangler. I thought that was the end of it but I was wrong. He took another piece and threw it into the Jeep again. Normally, I would've enjoyed a little stunt like that but this time, I was pissed off since the guy driving the Jeep decided to follow us to MY house.
Aaaaaaanyways...what I'm getting at is that if I was in the mood for a fight and if I had known the inconsiderate couple was leaving early, I would've chewed some gum and thrown it into the chick's rat's nest of hair. Oh well. Missed opportunities. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.
Maybe next time I'll say something - fight or no fight. I'm tired of all this passive aggression when people aren't trying to make the effort to respect each other. It makes me very upset.
Love and kisses,
Katzi
S.L.Y.A.S.D.I
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