Weight Loss Goals - Challenge Accepted!

In my last post, I talked about my resolution to lose weight.  Why is it so important to me?
Well, a few years ago, my Dad took me out to a nice lunch and proceeded to tell me that he would help me find a weight loss program to be on while he was away in Iraq.  It sounds mean and I took it the wrong way, as I would, and even though we worked it out and I ended up on a diet program that didn't really work for me, mentally and emotionally, I did it for 3 months before deciding to stop it.
It was taking an emotional toll on me.  I know that sounds like an excuse or something but it really did take a toll on me.  I was hungry all the time and I wasn't exactly advertising that I was on a diet at work because I feared extreme judgement from my coworkers.  They can't be that cruel - but they do make jokes about 114lbs being "huge".  Ouch.
I felt withdrawn.  It was almost like I was grounded.  I felt like a bad kid constantly being in trouble and it was awful.  Yes, I was losing weight but I felt miserable emotionally.  I hated feeling that way and after pleading with my Dad in very emotional emails, we cancelled it.
There were a few upsides to it, though.  I learned how to eat healthier and I thought I was making better choices.  I also learned what I like and don't like as far as cooking goes.
But I was still gaining weight.

A few weeks ago, I had a dream.  I dreamt that I received a wedding invitation to a wedding in Montana.  There was a note inside from the bride-to-be telling me to get down to a size 10 by March.  How specific.  And you would think that I would be upset by this in the dream and waking up but, surprisingly, I was very calm.  In the dream, I achieved my goal by getting down to a size 8 - what what! - and everyone was impressed.  When I woke up, I had a very Barney Stinson moment



And I proceeded to tell my friend (and coworker) my goal - just for the sake of getting out into the Universe.  I'm hoping that even though I'm feeling discouraged because of my weight GAIN, I don't lose momentum.  In fact, I have made another deal with myself - which will remain secret because it's very personal - and I'm hoping I can make good on it very, very soon.

Onward and upward!

2013 Resolutions...The Weight Game

We are well into 2013 and - SURPRISE - one of my resolutions is to lose weight (like most people at the beginning of each new year).
I've tried diets and exercising and all that and I really enjoy the Lose It app but I haven't seen any results.
So what's different this time?  The old man is joining me and we are super serious about getting this weight loss thing going.
And there's already a problem.  I hate - HATE - measuring food out but I'm doing it like a good kid and eve though it makes me cringe, I am portioning out EVERYTHING.  Believe me when I say my measuring spoons and cups are getting a major workout.  LOL.  I kid.
But seriously - I'm measuring out every single thing I put in my mouth.  I've gotten over that Dragon Lady stage of being hungry all the time and I've now come to accept the hunger pangs until my body readjusts but I've GAINED weight since I started losing it!
I was on a slow and steady losing streak all last week (which was our first full week) and then I weighed myself last night and, to my surprise, I'm almost back to the weight I STARTED at.  Bummer.
I've even doing the things I hate.  Along with measuring every freaking thing, I'm looking at fitspo blogs for motivation, following fitspo people on Tumblr AND Instagram and cooking more with recipes from Hungry Girl and Skinnytaste.  I'm even running (with my Nike+ GPS app) - and I HATE running. I'm freakin' running at my old high school track - which I avoided like the plague when I was a student there.



The first two are both from Saturday. I ran the track a few times and then ran the stairs for about 10 minutes and cooled off with one full lap around. I was getting ready to leave when my iPod played a few songs that I was like, "Awww hell naw - I HAVE to run to this!" and then I ran a couple more laps. 
 The second track is from yesterday. Not as many laps on the stairs but I went ALL OUT on those steps!  I was a sweaty mess afterwards that I walked the rest of the time we were there.

So that got me thinking - what if the weight gain is purely muscle? After all, on my two track running days (Saturday and Sunday), I ran the stadium steps too, so...why not, right?  It only makes sense.  And my legs feel like cannons!  They haven't felt this solid since I was weight training ages ago.  Why did I stop?  Because of a lower back injury that still hurts me.  I've consulted with the fitness folks at work about it and they all say the same thing: Katzi, you're just too top-heavy.  I don't expect my coworkers to feel the pains of a large-breasted woman...but they're usually pretty nice about it and I've cooled off on the weights.

But now I'm like: What do I do???  I don't need to get discouraged.  On my Saturday early morning TV watching, I saw a bunch of infomercials for Tapout XT or whatever and diet pill after diet pill but the one that stuck out the most for me was the NV commercial with Tami Roman.



I don't watch Basketball Wives or anything but I enjoy this commercial because even though she kept popping out and interrupting this fake conversation



She does say something helpful: "Tell her the first two weeks of weight loss can be the hardest."  Okay - something helpful to keep me on track...But how much longer can I take?!  I think once I get settled in, I'll be able to get it together and maybe, just maybe, start seeing results.  After all, the first two weeks are the hardest, right?  And I'm on day 13.  Oh dear...  Maybe she meant the first month???

Why is my weight loss a big deal?  I will share those two reasons soon...

Life Resolution: Never Give Up Hope

I might be a little late on this Ted Williams train but I don't care. His story is super inspiring and something we should all really pay attention to.

It all started last night when I was blow drying my hair. My old man was was looking around on Buzz Feed (as usual), so I didn't think anything of it. I shut off the dryer and heard, "Mommy! Mommy!" so I had to ask, "What are you watching?" That's when he shared this clip with me:



I did all I could do to stay composed. Inside, I was a WRECK. All that was going through my head was: Wow, what a voice!, What an incredible story...I was a mess. A total mess. Then, he showed me this clip and I couldn't take it! My heart was bursting with so much love and hope and joy for this man! Then, I saw the final clip:

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I was overcome with so much joy that he was able to reunite with his mother that I left after the clip finished, closed the door to the bedroom and started crying hysterically.
Even now, as I write this, I have tears in my eyes. Every time I see his face, hear his voice or even think about his story, I can't stop the tears. I think this is such a wonderful story - especially at the beginning of the new year. We need to keep hope alive!
My resolutions for this year were mainly to have nothing but peace and love in my life - keeping all the negativity and hate out of it and this story has compelled me to always have hope.
When you feel like you're losing your way, just remember to never give up hope. Ted Williams never gave up hope and even though, yeah, it might have taken a little while for him to finally find his way, he still found his way by keeping hope alive! Let that be a message to everyone at the start of 2011 and let's hope we can all keep that message for years to come.

Love and kisses,
Katzi
S.L.Y.A.S.D.I.