Trying to explain why I need a Jean-Paul Gaultier for Target garment to the old man is pointless

My bf and I made our usual weekend trip to Target. We hadn't been in awhile so it was only natural to wander off by ourselves and enjoy the new stuff.
Our first trip to Target (yes, there was another later on) took us to the new Super Target by our house. I browsed through the awesome Liberty of London printed dresses and tops and made my way to the home section. Our quest is to find black and white items for our newly redone bathroom. I found some really awesome birds for the walls and, to my surprise, the old man agreed!
I immediately put them up in the bathroom but it felt a little off, so we went on another quest for more birds!
For our second trip, we ended up at the Target by the mall. We looked for more birds but couldn't find any so we separated and I ended up in the clothing - of course. I browsed through the awesome Liberty of London printed dresses and tops (again) and meandered through the bathing suits (that will never fit me) and so on until I made my way back to the old man. Where was he? In the electronics section, of course! I looked up at one of the many TVs and there was Jean-Paul Gaultier. But what was he doing on Target TVs? He was talking about his Jean-Paul Gaultier for Target collection.

Wait - what?!

I walked right by it and didn't even notice?! What kind of person am I?! Of course I run back to see if it was featured at this Target and there it was - the Jean-Paul Gaultier for Target display. My eyes literally watered with joy. The last time I had anything Gaultier was when I was, like, 14 or 15 and didn't even know who that was (until Ab Fab) and I grew out of it. When was the next time I could ever own a Gaultier?! NOW. The time is NOW! So I rummage through the small collection and find 2 things: a striped shirt with an anchor cut and tied into it (which wasn't really me but I could totally make it me) and a striped dress. I showed them to the old man and (surprise, surprise) he HATED both of them. Actually, he hated the whole JPG collection but he especially hated the anchor shirt. I told him to pick the "lesser of two evils" and he refused. He kept asking why I had to have some ugly clothing but he's a guy. He wouldn't understand.
He would never understand why the 14 y/o in me wants something by Gaultier and why the 29 y/o actual me NEEDS something by Gualtier. It's mother fucking Jean-Paul Gaultier. At Target for Christ's sake!! When would I ever be able to afford anything by Jean-Paul Gaultier?!
So there it was. I picked the dress. Of course I wore it out when we went to the grocery store. And the funniest part - the old man is utterly confused by the sash. He hates it even more because of the sash. I love it. It makes it interesting. Which is fashion. But he's a guy. And he would never get it.



Here's me, the birds and the dress:



So hurry into Target, ladies, and get your Jean-Paul Gaultier!!


Love and kisses,
Katzi
S.L.Y.A.S.D.I.

Probably the GREATEST thing to take with you to EVERY party you go to.

EDITOR'S NOTE: This post was originally on my Livejournal and I have decided to re-post it (even though it's a little outdated...) BUT the ♥ for the item that I'm talking about is still the same.
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Let me start from the beginning.

Saturday, December 20, 2008 started quite horribly.
First, I woke up retardedly early after going to sleep fairly late after abandoning all hope of drinking with a friend.

Then, the old man and I went to the mall. Suburban mall life isn't as fun as I remember it. Anyways - that sh*tty mall experience put us in sh*ttier moods. Not to mention the old man was already upset because he had to buy a gift for his company's yearly "White Elephant" gift X-Mas party and Toys for Tots and his Secret Santa victim: ME.
I had a much harder task with my Secret Santa victim: MY MOM.

While we argued our way through Target, we ended up in the toy section. I was reminded of this when we were making our way through the toys. I had seen it before and I thought it only played songs and it did that sh*tty microphone thing where it didn't really amplify your voice - it just looked like a mic that happened to play songs louder than your voice.
Anyways - I decided that I needed one. VERY BADLY. That was the only way my day was going to get amazing.
But sadly, they only had this one. And that was NOT going to perk up my day. We started to curse the North Point Target until we realized there was another one we could go to.

It was a gift from The Gods!
But wait! My old man found the microphones before me and alerted me that there were no more Brobees. I wanted to scream. As loud as I could. But I couldn't. My chest started hurting, my heart started palpitating and tears stood in my eyes. This day was FUBAR'd. I couldn't go down like that. F*ck no! So what do I do? I go back to the aisle with the Yo Gabba Gabba! microphones and look again. Sure, Muno was in the front. I almost gave up. But then, like a beacon of hope (that I thought I had abandoned), there it was! My Yo Gabba Gabba! Brobee Microphone!!!! Of course I snatched it up! I read the back of the package - just to emphasize the point to my old man and saw "voice amplifier" in the description. The tears of sorrow had turned into tears of joy! Ultimate joy! My old man rolled his eyes, of course.

After making the greatest purchase known to man, I took it out of the package and turned it on. It was amazing. And it was then, after hearing my voice being amplified through this magical device, that I would use it at my friends' going away party.

I made so many people smile (read: annoyed)! There was even a video taken of me with my Brobee mic! How wonderful! Circle of Death was even more fun than normal - all because of my mic!

Thank you, Yo Gabba Gabba! Brobee Microphone! You truly are the greatest gift of all.
(Toodee microphone to join my arsenal very VERY soon on the account of Toodee being my God-Daughter's fave character. I know it exists. It was pictured on the directions for the Brobee mic...)

♥
Katzi
S.L.Y.A.S.D.I.