Monday, June 29, 2009

Vegan Subway Bacon Adventure!

For those of you who know me, you know that my BF is Vegan. This poses many problems when we are trying to decide what to eat and that also means that we never really eat the same things - especially when we're cooking at home (obviously). But we know, for sure, that my BF can totally eat at Subway. Score for everyone! Well...almost.
Yesterday was our first full day of no air conditioning at our house (outside temp was 95 degrees!). I cooked some things requiring the use of the oven and the house, obviously, heated up like a damn furnace so I decided for dinner, there would be no use of the oven or stove. That meant Subway sandwiches! Huzzah! Even though I usually order a hot sandwich (meatball sub or cheese steak sammy YUM!), I decided to ditch it for a nice, cool BLT. Ahhhhhh. Chilled lettuce, cheese, slightly warm bacon, tomatoes and pickles. Sweet! Usually I let my BF go first so that the meat products I get don't contaminate his sweet Vegan sandwich and the girls who we usually deal with know that but there was one fatal flaw yesterday: both of our sandwiches were made at the same time.
Everything was going fine until our sandwich tech grabbed the uncooked bacon, put it in the microwave and then TOUCHED my BF's lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers and all the other items he normally gets. He cringed but not too much. Then - the ultimate Vegan nightmare - the bacon was done, I was about to say don't worry about my sandwich just yet and giving my BF the side-eye to see if he was going to say something but neither of us did in time. Our sandwich tech had her gloved hands full of cooked bacon and was laying it on my sandwich. Then her bacony hands molested my BF's Vegan sandwich to which we both winced and my poor BF yelled out. I asked "What's wrong" in the hopes that he would explain his Veganism to get his sandwich made over again but he didn't say a thing. I paid for our bacon feast and we left.
When we got home, I got my plate out and put my sandwich on it, ready to eat. My BF went outside, checked the mail, started pulling weeds and surveyed our leaning mailbox obviously avoiding his bacon-affected sandwich. I kept telling him he could throw it away or give it away but he didn't answer. He just sat down, staring at it with the saddest frown on his face. After about 10 minutes of him picking at his chips and me mauling my sandwich (I was starved), he declared he couldn't eat it. I said, "You should have fucking said that in the first place!" He looked like I just murdered a puppy. I knew he couldn't eat it and that was the declaration I was looking for. He said he felt awful for throwing it away after I had just paid for it but we both decided that he needs to be more assertive when we go to Subway next time. I bet our sandwich tech would have gladly made him another sandwich if he had explained his situation to her but we'll never know.
Part of me wishes he took a tiny bite. You know, for hilarity's sake.