I secretly like to live in trashy romance novels

I've been resisting it for so long and I finally gave into it last week: I've started reading the 50 Shades of Grey books.  I am only slightly ashamed.  Partly because I knew it was coming.  I was going to end up reading them sooner or later AND an innocent Tweet from Michelle Visage intrigued me. Hmmm...Alexander Skarsgard as Christian Grey?  I knew then that I HAD to know who this guy was if Skarsgard was being considered. 

He's so alluring and so charming as Eric Northman on True Blood (and he's almost always half naked).  So I downloaded it straight to my iPad when I got home from work...AND I COULDN'T STOP READING.
Sure the writing is weird (I've read the Twilight books so I'm immune to weird writing - including my own) and the characters are a little wild but this isn't my first time at the BDSM literature rodeo, okay?  I've read quite a few BDSM books in my day (the fave being the Claiming of Sleeping Beauty Trilogy because I love Princess Aurora so much) so these books are quite tame in my honest opinion.  Sure there's spanking and light torture, bondage and all that but it's not quite there yet.  But for some reason, I'm captivated by Christian Grey.  And picturing Alexander Skarsgard as the unbelievably young multibillionaire is making it harder to hate the book - and what they're doing to me.
I'm totally swept off my feet again and again by Christian Grey and I fear that I am, childishly, wishing every man was like him.  Ugh.  It's embarrassing - but not as embarrassing as my little encounter last night, which my brother dubbed 50 Subs of Way.  Yes, it happened in a Subway while I was waiting on my sandwich and it was the weirdest, most confusing and most exciting thing that's happened to me in a long while.  UH - WTF?!  WHO AM I?!
Maybe it's because my sleep schedule is thrown off and my overactive imagination is getting the better of me (as usual) but I rather enjoy these games even though they're very confusing and I have no idea what they are.  He was just some random guy walking in for a sandwich.  Nothing out of the ordinary but I could feel something in the air that was . . . charged or something.  Not like the charge between Ana and Christian but there was something there that wasn't there before he entered the sandwich shop.  Ugh.
I keep telling myself there's no such man as Christian Grey. Shit - there's no such man as Brandon (who isn't really romantic but...) or my other favourite Christian.

What is happening to me?!